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Crank (2006)

August. 31,2006
| Action Thriller Crime
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Professional assassin Chev Chelios learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops.


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Such a frustrating disappointment


Please don't spend money on this.


Expected more


Best movie ever!


A movie for 12 year old boys. It is supposed to be funny, I think . However the writers forgotten to write anything vaguely witty. There is a lot of bad language (yawn) and ridiculous action sequences but we have seen that all before. I quite like action films, for instance, I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed Jason Statham in the Transporter movie. This is another story altogether though, it just becomes tiresome very quickly. I know I saw the original movie that the story was taken from and remember how much I enjoyed it - I think it starred Edmond O'Brien then and even that was remade with Dennis Quaid I think. Both decent thrillers. This one is just a pain to watch, which is why I am critiquing it now after only about 30 minutes. Jason Statham has been someone I I had avoided until I tried Transporter, but I think I will not pursue any more of the Crank movies.


CRANK is a post-modern Hollywood blockbuster in that it takes things backwards, actually appearing to be a low budget, poorly shot amateur movie. Every directorial trick in the book is thrown into the pot in this one, with crazy camera-work, hand-held cameras, shaky cams (worse than BLAIR WITCH!), POV shots, tracking, you name it. From the moment you see the crudely-drawn-on-a-computer title screen you know you're going to be in for a 'different' film and CRANK is very different in style. However, the plot is nothing new, and can basically be summed up as 'SPEED inside a human'. Jason Statham struts his action stuff as he goes on a rampage through the city, trying to keep his heart rate up by engaging in all kinds of antisocial behaviour. Thankfully the film only plays for eighty-odd minutes so the idea never becomes boring.Now, I enjoyed the action stuff in this film. The stand-offs and shoot-outs are stylishly handled and realistic and there are some imaginatively gritty moments, like when a guy has his hand caught in a sewing machine! The acting is generally good, with lots of intense stuff from Statham and Cantillo as the slimy bad guy, but who cast Amy Smart as Statham's girlfriend? Seriously, the blonde bimbo girlfriend role is terrible in this film, an awful part and Smart is horrible in it. Seriously bad. You never believe for a second that Statham's character would go for such a girl.Elsewhere the film contains plenty of comedy. Some of it is funny – the 'hand in a waffle toaster' gag is crude but effective, and the chopped-hand jokes are enjoyable. But the crude attempts at comedy are not so great, and a bit tired. I'm surprised Statham suffered the indignity of all the erection jokes and the sex-in-the-street scene is just embarrassingly bad. If it wasn't for the student-style laughs, CRANK would be an above-average action flick; as it stands, it's wildly uneven and inventive; half of it works, half of it falls flat. Worth watching but not more than once.

Chip Ryan

I'm not sure if I must say any more than the three words in the subject line. This must be, **by far** the worst ever movie (or movie series not even sure what it is anymore...)I'm really not sure in what universe, would anyone rate this a 7/10.It's filled with explicit, sick, twisted sexual scenes, that offer **no** value whatsoever. Has virtually **no** story, therefore screenplay must have been done by a 6 years old, that just saw his very first *oobs.Again, I have **never** saw anything more brutally UN-funny, UN-captivating, an UN- artistic in my entire life.Perhaps the very few fans of "The Human Centipede" will find this "movie", agreeable, I, myself, can't say anything more than "YUCK" at the sight of Jason Statham, and the incredibly poor directing and screenplay.Basically one has to not be human anymore to enjoy, or to even think about watching this, after the first few minutes of it.Call me CRAZY, please... I won't really care... I AM still human...

Scott LeBrun

In this amped up action movie, Jason Statham plays Chev Chelios, an underworld hit-man who is given a powerful poison that could conceivably kill him within an hour. All he can do, according to his doctor (Dwight Yoakam), is keep his adrenaline level very high. Chev embarks on a high speed chase to get back at the gangsters who put him in his position, while being forced to reveal to his air headed girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) that he's been lying from day one about what he does for a living."Crank" is patently over the top nonsense. Writing & directing team Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor style their movie like an all out assault on your senses, with a LOT of quick cutting, sped up action, visual tricks, and hyperactive camera work. Sometimes this gets annoying, but when the filmmakers are able to reign themselves in a bit, they succeed at creating an entertaining, gimmicky thrill ride. It's ridiculous from the word go, but at least it's never boring. The pacing is frequently frantic, there's violence aplenty, and the movie even has an offbeat sense of humour. (An aggressive bout of love making is played for laughs.)Statham never has been a truly great actor, but he does have an undeniable screen presence. The gorgeous Smart is appealing as the girlfriend. The villains are a loud, stereotypical, cartoon like bunch: Jose Pablo Cantillo as Verona, Carlos Sanz as Carlito, Jay Xcala as Alex. Country singer Yoakam does a typically solid job as the doctor who's obliged to talk Chev through his situation long distance.This is 88 minutes worth of insanity, never stopping for much of a breather. The pacing helps keep a viewers' attention from wandering, right up to and including the groan inducing final sequence.Seven out of 10.